


The Pursuit of Happiness

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Extramarital Affairs, F/F, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Multi, Running Away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-15 20:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11814012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: "Are you sure you want to do this?" Eliza asked her. Her hands ghosted on the hem of her uniform."This is the only thing that I've ever been sure of," Maria told her, refusing to meet Eliza's eye.Eliza nodded, kissing her again. It felt like hot chocolate and summer heat and graduating high school, the feeling of having done something she'd wanted to do, something she thought about over and over and never thought she'd accomplish. Something welled up in her chest at the thought that her last happy memory was almost ten years ago, but she pushed it down. It didn't matter.Nothing mattered in that moment except Eliza.





	1. This Is No

Maria's life was far from perfect. It's been ten years stuck in this little desert town, a population never exceeding twenty, and while she didn't hate it, her circumstances weren't ideal. Her job paid close to nothing, all the money saved and stored to keep the water running and the lights on. Her boyfriend was incompetent, a drunk with his heart in his knuckles and no concern for anybody but himself.  
  
Her life wasn't perfect, but she was handling it, until _they_ came into town.  
  
She walked home from work, untying her apron as she went, dusty sidewalk scraping under her shoes. Everyone else was either asleep or at the bar. James would be there, meaning Maria had time before he came home, the calm before the storm. She should shower, wash off all the grease from the diner and settle into the couch, break out her secret stash of hot chocolate and maybe get half a mug down before James stumbled in. If she was lucky, he wouldn't be home at all, and she could finally finish something, maybe even lucky enough to sleep in her own bed without cowering to one side.  
  
An engine revved in the distance, a rarity with how unknown they were, and Maria watched the single circular headlight get closer and closer until the clear outline of a motorcycle appeared, someone else in a helmet sitting in an adjoined sidecar. They looked like they were trying to read a book, but the wind whipped the pages back and forth, preventing them from succeeding.  
  
Maria watched as the motorcycle pulled into the one convenience store they had, owned and worked in solely by James Madison, who was no doubt at the bar, talking to Thomas and forcing John to watch them be disgusting with each other while he was trying to run a business. Maria thought it was cute to see two people so in love with each other, without any exceptions, supportive of each other even after the years they spent together.  
  
"Hey!" The motorcycle driver called, helmet tucked under her arm. Maria's eyes widened as she looked across the street. Her hair was cut up to her shoulders, blowing behind her as she jogged up to Maria, stunning features illuminated in the street light once she was close enough. Maria was too shocked to say anything, heart beating wildly in her chest.  
  
"Hi," Maria muttered, and the girl smiled. She adjusted her helmet in her arms and Maria looked her up and down. If she noticed her legs in those leather biker pants, then she would claim she didn't.  
  
"I'm sorry for bothering you, but I was wondering if you know when that gas station opens? I know it's late, but it says it's open twenty-four hours, which doesn't seem to be true."  
  
Maria grinned, trying to ignore her burning cheeks. "We don't get a lot of people here, so the store really isn't open unless it," she gestured, "needs to be. If you want it open now, though, you can ask Madison, he's at the bar right now. I could take you there, if you want."  
  
"Yeah, that'd be great!" She turned across the street to where sidecar man was standing in front of the doors, still buried in whatever he was reading. "Alex!" She screamed, and Maria flinched.  
  
"I'm comin'!" Alex called, throwing the book back in the sidecar and crossing the street as Eliza turned around.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," she told her. "I didn't mean to scare you!"  
  
"No, no it's fine. I'll just take you to him."  
  
"Thanks. I'm Eliza, by the way."  
  
She gave Eliza a fleeting smile. "Maria."  
  
The bar was every stereotype packed into one. Dim lights with glass mosaic lampshades, a pool table far too big for the size of the bar. Tables with mismatched chairs, some broken, others broken and taped back together. Neon signs decorated the walls, cheesy paintings each looking like they were chosen from their very own garage sale in between the lights. It was ugly, but John owned it, and he loved every terrible detail about it.  
  
James Madison is where Maria thought he'd be, sitting on a barstool by the wall, flirting with Thomas like they weren't already dating. Her James sat back in a chair, mouth open and passed out, head leaned against the wall. A sick feeling churned in her stomach as she looked at him, subsiding when she remembered what she was here for.  
  
"Madison," she whispered, walking over to him. James stopped staring at Thomas for a moment to face her, smiling, eyebrows raised.  
  
"Two people came in a few minutes ago, they said they need you to open the store."  
  
He looked over at Alex and Eliza, still standing in the doorway, whispering to each other. His face matched Maria's, but he wasn't noticing Eliza, he was noticing Alex. Maria stared at him until he snapped out of it, tapping Thomas on the arm once he came back down to earth.  
  
"Okay, sure. Yeah." Thomas paused from his wiping down of the counter to follow where Madison was gesturing, eyebrows shooting to his hairline and swallowing loud enough that Maria could hear it. John talked to Monroe about something, fake grin plastered on his face as he tried to convince the only person in the town who refused to put money in the reserve to buy top shelf.  
  
Madison introduced himself to Eliza and Alex, flashing a quick smile at them before the left together, Maria following. Alex walked ahead of them, matching pace with Madison and striking up a conversation with him as he rummaged through his pockets for his keys.  
  
"So, what's the deal with this place?" Eliza asked her once they got to the little convenience store, boots dragging on the pavement. "It's cute, and for half past midnight it really has a nice vibe, but I've never heard of it before, and we've been on the road for a while."  
  
"You grew up in the city, Eliza," Alex said from in front of them. "You thought Minneapolis was fictional until last year."  
  
A blush rose up on Eliza's cheeks, coloring her neck and ears. "I don't need this, y'know. I could easily detach the sidecar from my bike."  
  
Alex was silent after that.  
  
"Uhm," Maria began, and Eliza turned her attention back to her. "We're small, our population is eighteen, right now, I think. I'm not even sure we're on the map."  
  
"We're not," Madison confirmed, unlocking the front doors and pushing them open.  
  
"Does this town have a name?" Alex questioned. He wandered in the store as James went in the back and turned the lights on, bathing everything in a cold yellow.  
  
"Liberty," Madison answered. "The town's name is Liberty."  
  
"That's pretty," Alex mumbled, making his way throughout the store, searching for something.  
  
Maria walked through the aisles, thinking of the tip money in her purse. James kept track of everything she made, but because tips fluctuated, so she could spend a little if she was careful. She noticed a pint of strawberry ice cream for three dollars. She could spend three dollars, finish it way before James ever noticed anything was missing.  
  
Eliza stepped up to the counter. "Hey, do you have any, like, typical bike stuff here?"  
  
"No," Madison answered, "we don't really keep that many _supplies_ on hand. Some people need it sometimes, and sometimes I have one or two things, but I'm mostly snacks and condoms, sorry."  
  
"No, you're okay! I didn't really need it, just thought about it." Madison nodded and Alex came up to Eliza, coffee in hand and a pleading look in his eye. Eliza nodded and Alex went up to the counter, grinning at James as he did. Maria could feel his heart melt as he looked down at him.  
  
"You, it's on the house," he told him, and Alex shook his head.  
  
"No, no. Let me pay you."  
  
"It's really okay, you can pay me for the next one."  
  
Alex hummed. "The next one."  
Eliza squinted her eyes at him.  
  
They all went back to the bar after Eliza forced James to let her pay for an overpriced pack of gum. Maria stole a spoon from John's apartment on the second floor and stared at James, still passed out in the corner, as she ate it. It was stupid and petty and her heart was beating so fast either from panic or adrenaline or both, and she felt invincible. She felt pathetic.  
  
"You can stay in one of the empty apartments here for the night, if you want," John offered, reaching under the counter and pulling out the fancy bendy straws. "We have, like, a ninety-seven percent vacancy."  
  
Thomas scoffed. "Two new people show up and suddenly you know percentages."  
  
"I will fire you."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"What do you think, Eliza? Should we stay?" Alex turned to her on his barstool, sipping his cup of coffee.  
  
"I haven't slept in, like, two days, so yeah, we're staying." Her head collapsed on the bar. John slid a coaster under her forehead.  
  
John was kind of like the mayor of Liberty. He "owned" most of the housing, or rather he was the one out of all of them willing to handle the responsibility of owning so many keys. He helped keep track of all the money with Madison, and he liked running the town almost as much as he liked owning the bar.  
  
"You can stay in the apartment building across the street from James'. It'll keep you close to your bike," John said, and Eliza nodded, still on the coaster.  
  
From Maria's understanding, Alexander and Eliza were only supposed to stay overnight, but as a night turned to a week and a week turned into two, she thought that _maybe_ they made other arrangements.  
  
Alexander and Eliza grew accustomed to the quiet life of Liberty, started their own daily routine and fit it to work with everyone else. Eliza convinced Madison to order tools for her bike, and everyday she would go over with Alex to see if they came in. Maria was sure that Alex tagged along to flirt with Madison, and Maria, on her way to work, would hear Eliza warning him that it wasn't safe to get into things like this, especially after the last time.  
  
They came into the diner everyday for lunch and dinner, and Maria was the only one who served them. Theo and Martha always had something else to do, whether it be eating or washing dishes or _directly avoiding_ doing any work whatsoever, it didn't matter, Maria always had their table.  
  
After dinner they would go to the bar, and Maria would watch Alex leave, and then go up to the table where Eliza still was. Maria walked over the table, Eliza still sitting there, going through her wallet.  
  
"Oh, Eliza! Alex just left, I thought you were already gone," she said the first time it happened. Eliza grinned at her, and Maria pushed her heart out of her throat. This was not an option, she was not an option.  
  
"Yeah, I told him to go ahead. Him, James, and Thomas have this weird thing when they see each other and they all swoon, and witnessing it makes me want to cry. Besides, I'm trying to find the money I have for tips."  
  
"We don't really use money for tips. We don't use money for a lot of stuff within the town, actually, the amount of times I've paid Madis-" she paused. "James for soap in fancy rocks, and the amount of time he's given me fancy rocks for milkshakes, is infinite. We've been trading a topaz back and forth for six years now."  
  
Eliza chuckled, but kept looking through her purse. "Me and Alex haven't earned that yet. We're still _staying_ here, we're not _living_ here. At least not yet."  
  
"Whatever you say." Maria shrugged as Eliza handed her a ten and then left. Her hair was getting longer, Maria wondered what it was feel like to run her fingers through it.  
  
"Maria!" Someone called, and snapped out of it, stacking the plastic food baskets on top of one another and carrying them back to the kitchen.  
  
The first time Eliza came in alone, it was close to close, and Maria was sweeping up so she wouldn't have to do it in the morning. She pushed through the door with bloody knuckles and a bruise wrapping around either side of her neck, another one on the corner of her jaw. Maria dropped the broom she was holding and ushered Eliza in, sitting her down on the nearest booth. She swayed from side to side, but smiled with a bruised lip and looked beautiful all the same.  
  
"What happened to you?" Maria asked, inspecting her for anymore injuries. She ignored the fact that Eliza looked strong enough to benchpress Maria, because now was _so_ not the time, but she knew the next time she thought about Eliza, that fact would pop up.  
  
"Y'know that James guy?" Her voice was rough, she looked like she was about to pass out. Maria's blood ran cold.  
  
"Madison?" She knew it wasn't, she _knew_ it wasn't going to be, but she held onto hope and prayed to god that it wasn't who it _definitely was_ .  
  
Eliza shook her head. "No, not him. Not Monroe either. Reynolds, James Reynolds."  
  
"What did you do to him?"  
  
"He, uh, started saying all this shit about people. Me, Alex, you, John, it was disgusting. He tried to Thomas to play poker with him, said they could go back to old times, whatever that means I have no idea, and that's when James, Madison this time, pushed him, and he fell. Then he started mocking Alex, because he knew it would annoy them, and he knew it would annoy me, so I went for him. I think I took care of it."  
  
"Oh my god."  
  
"Is Reynolds your husband? I'm sorry if he is. They took him to the little doctor's office thing you have here, but they don't know what to do because the doctor is drunk off his ass. He'll probably be there for around two days."  
  
"He's my boyfriend," Maria corrected, "and I'm sorry that happened. He deserved more than what you gave him."  
  
"Is he always like that?" Eliza asked, and Maria shrugged, went over to the counter and grabbed a rag, wiping at Eliza's knuckles. "I'm sorry."  
  
"It's fine. Hey, do you want something to eat? The cook left but I can probably make something."  
  
"No! No, it's fine. I can just go to James'," she paused, "except James' isn't open because he's currently fucking my best friend."  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"It's fine. I'll figure it out, thank you, though."  
  
Maria rolled her eyes. "Sit down, I'll make you something. I'll grab the first aid kit while I'm at it, and you can do something about your hand."  
  
"Thanks for doing this," Eliza mumbled after she ate the gourmet grilled cheese sandwich Maria made her. "I don't know why I came here."  
  
"You don't have to, I'm glad you did."  
"It's almost midnight, do you want me to walk you home?"  
  
"Shouldn't it be the other way around? If someone tries to hurt me, you're already injured."  
  
Eliza beamed at her. "Fair enough."  
  
The walk home was silent, but nice. Eliza liked staring up at the stars as she walked, drifting until she was almost as the edge of the sidewalk. Maria pulled her back in, every nerve on fire when their arms accidentally brushed against each other. She felt like she was sixteen again around her, but she was nearing thirty and had to get it together.  
  
"Hey, I have to ask," Maria started.  
  
"Yeah?" Eliza looked at her, eyes reflecting the stars above her. Maria lost her breath for a second.  
  
"James and Alex?"  
  
"Oh, yeah! Thomas, James, and Alex have been flirting with each other since we got here, and now they're doing something about it. I'm surprised, I didn't think that Alex would go back into that after-" Eliza cleared her throat, blushing, looking anywhere but Maria. Maria knew not to ask, so she kept walking with her, stopping at the building across from James' and watching as Eliza took out her key.  
  
"Do you want to come up for a coffee or something? It's the least I could do to thank you."  
  
Maria weighed it in her mind. James was at the doctor's, he wouldn't be home for another two days. He would have no way of finding out about this, nobody was outside to see them, nobody would know unless Alex came back early, and Maria was sure he could keep secrets if Eliza asked. James would never know. He would never find out.  
  
"Do you have hot chocolate?"  
  
Eliza grinned. "Follow me."  
  
The mug is warm in her hands against the chill of Eliza's apartment, her ceiling fan and air conditioner working wonders in the heat of late spring. James refused to buy either, the only chill Maria got in the summer were the ones when she could hear his drunk stumbling through their front door, and after that her skin burned. She never forgot the feeling of being smacked, of every time he ever laid a hand on her, of every time her hands hit the hardwood floor of their living room and his dark brown eyes looking at her like it was her fault.  
  
"Are you happy with James?" Eliza asked. Maria looked up, blinking away tears.  
  
"Sure. Things aren't so bad, he's rarely ever home. I get to do what I want most of the time." She chuckled, but it was empty. She never got to do what she wanted, even the things she did get to do had to be evaluated and seen through before she pursued them.  
  
"That's good. You deserve better than him."  
  
"That's sweet of you," Maria drank from her mug, savoring as the heat bloomed in her chest and spread throughout her whole body.  
  
"I mean it. I'll fight him again, if you want. Just give me the word and he'll be gone." She sat back on the couch, setting her own mug on the table behind her.  
  
"I'm fine. I'm handling it."  
  
They sat in silence for a while, Eliza asking about the town and how long she's lived her and Maria answering. She didn't ask Eliza about why, because they were all running from _something_ , and nobody liked to talk about it much.  
  
It was then, and only then, that Maria realized _she_ was never running. She was dragged away, by James, because _he_ was running. Running from shady deals and debts and plans that fell through when he was young. He stole her life from her, took her away from everything she'd ever known, and she would never be able to get the last decade back.  
  
Her mug was empty.  
  
"I'll clean these," Maria whispered, taking hers and Eliza's mug and going over to their kitchen. Eliza tried to argue but Maria was already turned on the sink, tears filling her eyes and blurring her vision.  
  
She could hear Eliza as she got up from the couch, the floors creaking as she made her way into the kitchen. Maria scrubbed harder as she came up behind her, hands gently descending on her shoulders as she turned her. Maria set the mug down on the counter and looked at her, fear filling her body as she noticed just how close they were standing. She blinked and tears fell, wiped away by Eliza, her hands resting on Maria's jaw. She tensed, almost pulling her hands away, but Maria put them back. This was simultaneously the most nervous she's ever been and the calmest she's ever felt.  
  
Eliza stepped closer. "Are you okay?"  
  
Maria didn't answer the question. Her mind is on overdrive. All she can feel is Eliza's hands on her face and how close she is and she can smell the fruity perfume she wore and the next thing she knew they were kissing, and Maria knew it was her who initiated it because she wasn't the one tensing. Eliza kissed back, hands sliding down to her neck, pulling her in. Maria pulled Eliza closer by the waist, her heart was pounding. She used whatever nerve hadn't been taken from her to push Eliza against the counter island.  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Eliza asked her. Her hands ghosted on the hem of her uniform.  
  
"This is the _only_ thing that I've ever been sure of," Maria told her, refusing to meet Eliza's eye.  
  
Eliza nodded, kissing her again. It felt like hot chocolate and summer heat and graduating high school, the feeling of having done something she'd wanted to do, something she thought about over and over and _never_ thought she'd accomplish. Something welled up in her chest at the thought that her last happy memory was almost ten years ago, but she pushed it down. It didn't matter.  
  
Nothing mattered in that moment except Eliza.  
  
Maria woke up in Eliza's arms, the soft sheets under her skin and the sun filtering in through the windows. She shot upright on the bed, waking Eliza up in the process. She groaned rubbing at her eyes as Maria got up and got her clothes. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. James would know. He would look at her and he would know and who knows what would happen then.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
Maria laughed, loving what Eliza's voice sounded like in the morning but not having the time. "I have to get to work, I'm already running late.  
  
"Really? I was hoping you'd at least stay for breakfast."  
  
"Don't do that to me," Maria whined, and Eliza smiled. Maria gasped as Eliza kissed her, didn't even hear her as she moved down the bed. Maria kissed back before dashing out the door, slipping on her uniform and shutting the door behind her.  
  
Alex and Eliza came in for lunch, which Maria should have expected but it still took her by surprise. Her hands shook as she handed them menus she knew they didn't need. The first thing she noticed, distantly, was how nice Eliza looked, how nice she always looked, and she swore she might die on the spot if she thought about the night before for one moment.  
  
The second thing she noticed was the sheer amount of _bruises_ left on Alex's neck, but he didn't seem to mind them. He wore a tank top, something uncommon in the short time they'd been here, exposing even more down his ribs. She stared at them, then noticed the blank expanse of Eliza's throat. She knew _why_ she didn't, because then the question would arise as to _who_ and once people ask who it's only a matter of time before people connect one thing to another and then James found out and-  
  
"Hello, Maria," Alex greeted, smiling. Maria glanced over at Eliza, who shook her head. Maria sighed and took their order that she already knew by heart.  
  
She put it on the rack, spun the wheel, got their drinks and ran to the bathroom in what felt like one motion. As far as she could see, she had no marks on her. She sighed, hands gripping the edge of the sink. Maria wasn't giving Eliza enough credit, she knew James was Maria's boyfriend, and she knew that Maria was cheating on him by sleeping with her, and she was careful. She was _careful_ .  
  
"Maria! We have customers! Adams hates it when his food takes too long!" Martha yelled, banging on the bathroom door. Maria flinched every time, her heart racing, the world shifting out of focus. Her reflection seemed far away, distant.  
  
"Maybe if you did your job once in awhile he wouldn't be so angry when he comes here," Maria hissed as she walked out, anger thrumming in her veins, heart racing at the satisfaction of finally saying _anything_ to anyone. She took Adams' food and dumped it in front of him, setting his wife's down in front of her. She was always nicer than him, and Maria knew every time they tipped it wasn't coming out of his wallet. One time she left a cute pair of earrings, which John now wore when Maria paid him for hiding James in the back room for a night.  
  
James still wasn't home by the time Maria got home, and it only took her a minute to decide what to do in his absence. She got changed, rushing over to Eliza and Alex's before she could think of anything else.  
  
Eliza opened the door, smiling. "Hey, Maria."  
  
"Is Alex home?"  
  
"No, him, Thomas, and James are out doing something, I think."  
  
Maria didn't hesitate, kissed Eliza as soon as she could. Eliza turned them so they were inside, kicking closed the door behind her and walking Maria backwards until the familiar feeling of Eliza's bedsheets hit her skin.  
  
"What do you want this to be? Like, is this a fling to you, a _thing_ ?" Eliza wiggled her eyebrows and Maria rolled her eyes. She was leaving again, she didn't know when James would be back, and no matter how much she wanted to stay, she wouldn't be doing herself any favors if she was gone by the time he walked through the front door.  
  
"I like being with you, I would like to spend more time with you, I just don't know when I'm going to get to. What we're doing now is basically all I have time for."  
  
Eliza shrugged. "That's fair. I'd like to spend more time with you, too, by the way."  
  
Maria grinned and kissed her, repeating the actions of the morning and rushing out the front door.  
  
James came home and didn't suspect a thing. Maria wasn't even sure he _knew_ how to be suspicious, or if that was too out of range for him. He would go to the bar and Maria would go to Eliza, and at some point in between falling into bed and running to the diner after the morning after, she couldn't doubt that she was starting to fall in love, no matter how inconvenient it was.    
  
The sun was bright in her eyes as she woke up to someone pounding on her door. Her heart rate spiked, panicking as she sat up. She settled, but not by much, when she realized it wasn't her bedroom but the front door, and she swung it open with half lidded eyes. James had a key, he didn't need to knock.  
  
Eliza spoke too fast for Maria to comprehend. There were tears in her eyes as she pushed a newspaper into her hands.  
  
"Listen, I don't have enough time to explain this, just read the story on the front page, it's not everything but it's enough and I'm _sorry_ it had to be this way but I have to go. Alex isn't a bad person, please don't think that after you read it, he just got caught up with the wrong people."  
  
"Eliza, what, what are you talking about?" Maria asked, holding Eliza's face in her hands, dropping the newspaper at their feet. Eliza covered her hands with her own.  
  
"I have to go, and I'm sorry, I don't, I don't want to leave, but I have to. Someone tipped them off and they caught up with us. We were so careful I don't know how this-"  
  
"Found out what? Who caught up with you?"  
  
"It's in the _newspaper_ . I'm so sor-"  
  
Maria kissed her, finally understanding what she meant. Eliza kissed back, broke away to bend down and get the newspaper pushing it back in her hands. Maria only caught a glimpse of the headline, something about a scandal, a politician? Maria didn't know.  
  
She looked back up at her. "Do you know if you'll be coming back?"  
  
"No," Eliza shook her head. "I wish I did, but I'm not, I can't be certain."  
  
"This might be the last time I ever see you."  
  
"Come with me, then." More tears fell as she stared at Maria waiting for her answer.  
  
"I can't, Eliza. You know I can't."  
  
" _Please_ , if we never come back you never have to be with James again, you can get away from him!"  
  
"I-I'm sorry, this is all I've known for ten years of my life, I can't just _leave_ . I have a job, I have people worried about me."  
  
She wanted to go, wanted to run back inside and pack a bag, jet off with Eliza and Alex and never return to the place named after what she didn't have. This town was lovely by the people who made it lovely, but it had dark edges, dark people living within the town, within her apartment, that ruined it for her. Fucking hell, she wanted to run.  
  
"Okay," Eliza nodded. "Okay, I'm sorry I'm leaving so suddenly."  
  
"Don't be."  
  
"I love you."  
  
Maria's eyes widened, not saying anything back. Eliza stared at her and Maria kissed her, stumbling backwards until Eliza hit the wall of the hallway. Eliza pulled away.  
  
"I really have to _leave_ ," she cried, running down the hallway, pushing past a guy walking towards her and bounding down the stairs.  
  
Maria's heart stopped as James stood in the middle of the hall, angry look in his eyes telling her he saw everything.


	2. Far From

The wind blew Eliza's unzipped jacket behind her as drove as far as she could away from the desert town they learned to live in, away from the people they learned to love. Tears still streamed down her face, making her helmet uncomfortable with how it slid across her skin.   
  
"I'm sorry," Alex yelled over the engine. He was barely sitting in the sidecar, knees pulled up to his chest, newspaper held out in front of him, reading the article over and over, sobbing every time he does. If Eliza could, she would take the paper from him, knock it out of his hand and send it tumbling into the sandy expanse surrounding them until it was forgotten altogether. He didn't fucking deserve that. Nobody fucking deserved that.   
  
"Don't be," Eliza replied and Alex clamped his eyes shut again, tears slipping down his cheeks.   
  
The farther away they got from Liberty, the more Eliza's nerves stood on end. She saw Reynolds, saw his ugly fucking bruised face as she ran down the stairs. She should've stopped, should've kicked him down the stairs and left making sure that he would never even _see_ Maria again, let alone fucking touch her, but as she stared down at Alex, still sobbing because of the newspaper article and having to leave James and Thomas, she knew it wasn't an option.   
  
Every second she spent talking to Maria was a second she spent jeopardizing Alex, and she would never forgive herself for either decision.   
  
Eliza didn't have a reason to run, not as much as Alex did. She was running away from family expectations, from their entitlement and their condescending way of life that saw anyone with less money than them as _lesser_ in general. Not all of them were like that, Angelica and Peggy weren't, and she missed them everyday she was gone, but now, with Alex, she knew she couldn't go back.   
  
Alex and Eliza became friends through an odd series of coincidences. Her father was a senator, and he was helping the man who was to be running for the other senator position, Mr. Washington. Along with her father's endorsement, there were also a lot of meetings to be dealt with, and at each one of these meetings, along with all of the other people necessary, his assistant, Alex, would come. The amount of times Eliza would find Alex sitting outside the dining room, taking notes on meetings he probably wasn't supposed to was _every time they had a meeting_ , but she never said anything.   
  
"Are you allowed to do that?" She asked, and he looked up at her.   
  
"Yes," he lied, then returned to his notes. One of her siblings flounced in, asking Alex to get her a water. He stared at her and didn't move from his chair, crossing his leg over his knee.   
  
Eliza loved him.   
  
She watched him for a weeks after that, as he took notes outside the door. He was smarter than Washington gave him credit for, cunning and sly and getting away with something immoral. Eliza kept her siblings out of the kitchen and he watched her over the rim of his glasses.   
  
"I know what you're doing," Alex told her one day, looking up at her but his fingers didn't stop skittering across his keyboard.   
  
"And I know what you're doing."  
  
They left it that, but the more Eliza saw him, the more she wanted to know. She would find one reason or another to go into the kitchen, watch him type, ask some odd question that he'd answer when he wasn't paying attention, and she'd nod and leave.   
  
She went in one day when she knew a meeting was going on, both because she knew Alex would be there and because she wanted to steal the last of the good kiwi before Peggy got her hands on it. She froze, slippers squeaking on the marble floor as she pushed open the door.   
  
Alex was perched on their counter island, hands bunched in Mr. Washington's lapels as he kissed him, legs almost wrapped around his waist but not quite there yet. Washington's hands were everywhere, on the counter, Alex's thighs, one hand broad against his back. He moved like he didn't know how to stop, like touching Alex burned him but he couldn't resist it. It was an obscenity, as Eliza focused on the ring on Washington's finger and felt her face heat.   
  
Eliza tried to escape before they noticed her, but the rubber dots on the bottom of her slippers whined as she dragged her feet back, making both of them look. Eliza swallowed. Shit.   
  
They jumped away from each other, Alex's hair thrown in every direction, Washington not having any hair to throw around. They were both panting and Eliza felt so, _so_ wrong having walked in on them.    
  
"Miss Schuyler, if you'd allow me to explain," Mr. Washington began, layering on the stern voice her father used when he was reprimanding them or talking to his colleagues. Eliza didn't fall for it for a moment.   
  
"I don't want an explanation, but I'm not going to tell anyone. I'm twenty-five, I don't want to be the one to break a major local political scandal. Just, please, don't do this in my house again. If my dad finds you he will not help you. He already thinks you're a charity case, don't make him lose total faith." With that, she pulled open the fridge, grabbing the tupperware container of kiwi and going back up the stairs.   
  
Alex knocked on her door ten minutes later, and Eliza stared at him through the crack in the doorway. The meeting must have started, there was no way he'd be allowed to leave otherwise.   
  
"You're here for?" She squinted her eyes at him, watching as his coy facade melted as he picked at his fingernails.   
  
"You can't tell anyone about me and Geor-Washington. Washington. He's married, and anyone finding out will kill my career before it even takes off. It was an accident, and I didn't want it to happen, but it did, and it is, so you _can't tell anyone_."   
  
Eliza sighed, opening her bedroom door further, letting Alex in. "When I said I wouldn't tell anyone, I meant it. When I said my father will drop you, and possibly expose you, if he finds out, I meant it."   
  
"Thank you."  
  
"And if you wanted a career, you should've known better than to sleep with a married man your first job in."   
  
Eliza laughed at the memory, at its irony, but it was fleeting. Alex stopped crying, now dozing off in the sidecar, the setting sun in front of them. It was good that he was getting some sleep, she was going to regret waking him up later in whatever shitty motel she checked them into.   
  
She could see the Super 8 from where she stood, dread of having to look at the same ugly patterned carpet they had in _every_ hideous Super 8 filling her body. She stood at the ATM, punching in whatever the fuck it was asking for. He accounts were still open, which was good. It meant her father still thought she was just going through a quarter life crisis. She rolled her eyes as she took the maximum withdrawal from her account and stuffed it in her pocket. Her father wouldn't notice it until tomorrow, and by then they'd be long gone from the town they were in.   
  
"This is worse than the day it broke," Alex whispered, pulling the thin hotel blanket over his shoulders. "I didn't fucking care about Washington, the only feeling I had for him was guilt. I knew he was in love with me. I should've stopped it there. This wouldn't've happened if I stopped it."  
  
Eliza kissed his head, running her fingers through his hair. "It wasn't your fault. He was your boss, he was running for senator, he should've known better too."  
  
"People said he had the makings to be president. I fucked his entire life."  
  
"Alex, do you see where we are right now? Washington is still at home, he can still go home. We're in the middle of nowhere, running from everyone in the country who might have heard about this. If anyone fucked anyone's life, it definitely wasn't you."   
  
"You're right."   
  
"I know. Now get some sleep, we have a long drive tomorrow."  
  
"Any ideas as to where we're going?"  
  
"Not a clue."  
  
Eliza remembered the day the scandal broke. Her father staring down at the newspaper on his desk with his head in his hands and a glass of whiskey at nine in the morning. Eliza peered into his office with the food her mother told her to bring him, along with a complaint that the housekeeper didn't work on Sundays, a complaint Eliza heard _every_ Sunday.  He didn't respond to her knocking, so she she walked in and setting it down on the desk. He nodded in her direction as a thank you, but Eliza wasn't looking at him anymore.   
  
The picture of Alex and Mr. Washington plastered on the front cover, lips connected, Washington's shirt pushed down his arms. Some cheap headline that took a particularly sharp dig into both Alex and the would-be senator was printed in big letters at the top, and Eliza felt sick. It was everything that could go wrong slapped on the front page, and the radio silence from Alex was the worst sign.   
  
They knew where he lived, local newspapers and nationwide tabloids knocking on the door of his apartment building all trying to get one thing or another, one more piece of the puzzle to damn him and condemn him to a life he'd never escape from, from the life he was living now. Eliza told her cab driver to wait where she was parked, all of her bags in the back, leaving just enough room on the other side for Alex and his thing, and running into an alleyway next to the building.  
  
She had to balance on top of a dumpster to pull the fire escape steps down, sprinting up as soon as they fell. Alex left his windows unlocked, Eliza assumed that's how Washington always got in without being seen, and she pulled it open, heart racing as she saw him still asleep in his bed.  
  
He didn't know yet.  
  
She shook him awake, dodging the blind swings he threw trying to fight off whoever he thought was breaking into his house.

 

"Alex!" Eliza yelled, making him jump. His eyes flew open and then he squinted, trying to see who was there but not being able to make it out.    
  
"Eliza?" He guessed, taking his glasses from the end table and sliding them on. "What are you doing here?"   
  
"They know, Alex, the press knows about the affair with Washington and if you don't come with me right now, I'm scared they're going to break in."    
  
Alex rubbed his eyes. "They can't break in, they have no right."    
  
"I'm not sure they care at this point. They seemed eager.," Eliza told him. Alex nodded.   
  
"Yeah, that's generally how it is." He dragged his hands down his face. "Fuck, this is so bad.  _ Fuck _ . Where are you taking me?"   
  
"Remember that time I told you I wanted to run away? With, like, a motorcycle and no regrets?"    
  
Alex nodded. "Yeah, I remember."   
  
"Well, that's what we're doing. I've already taken most of the money out of my bank account, enough that we'll be okay for awhile. We're getting out of here, so pack a bag."    
  
Alex stared at her for a moment, trying to find out if she was lying. "Okay, okay, I'll go get a bag."   
  
Eliza fed dollar bills into the vending machine outside of the Super 8, punching in letter-number combinations and trying to decide what she wanted or would want in the next few months. Alex didn't like trail mix, so she only bought a few for herself, and then loaded up on cheetos because she did not fuck around and she wasn't sharing shit with him.    
  
She sighed, forehead against the plastic front of the machine, trying to ignore how heavy her heart felt in her chest. Maria kept popping up in her mind, her hair, her voice, the way she held Eliza's face in her hands like she was made of glass, like if she pressed at all it would break her. Her eyes, deep brown, fluttering shut as Eliza kissed her, the curve of her waist, the way her hips swung as she walked.    
  
Eliza exhaled, punched in the combination for a bag of pretzels.    
  
"You shouldn't have to pay for everything," Alex mumbled as he sorted and divided the snacks, giving half to him and half to Eliza, taking the red hot cheetos for himself and giving her all the trail mix.   
  
"It's the least I could do, Alex," Eliza replied, splayed out like a starfish on the mattress, and she meant it.    
  
If the scandal never broke, Eliza's life would go unaffected. She would still be twenty-five, living at home, rich, meeting pretty girls in clubs her sisters dragged her to and then going back to their place because she refused to take anybody to hers. Her life would still be okay if the scandal never broke, because the scandal had nothing to do with her. She only knew about it.    
  
Alex wouldn't be the same. If he kept sleeping with Washington, someone would've found out, someone always does. His career would've been ruined one way or another, and if not ruined then stifled by people who weren't particularly interested in having someone who slept their way to the top on their staff. Alex wouldn't have the chance to explain that he wasn't  _ trying  _ to get promoted, and his life would be ruined no matter what.    
  
Eliza didn't realize it until three weeks into their escape that she used Alex as an excuse to escape. She could've stayed home and, yes, her parents wouldn't have changed their ways or accepted anything she did, but she could've stayed home. Alex couldn't. If he didn't leave, he would've been eaten alive, by the entire country, not just New York. Eliza knew it was happening, but she'd long since thrown away her phone, intentionally kept herself out of the loop so she didn't have to keep anything from Alex.    
  
They left the Super 8 the next morning, and Eliza could hear the news behind her, heard Washington. The front desk woman only half paid attention to her, focusing on the television, nodding along to him as he made a statement about the mistakes he made, how much he regretted it. Eliza heard Alex scoff, then felt her blood run cold as it switched over to a news reporter, announcing that Alex was last seen fleeing from Liberty with a mystery woman who has yet to be identified.    
  
"Wow," the front desk lady said, eyes wide as she took Eliza's room key back. The news reporter went on to describe the bike they used to get away, and Eliza watched as the woman looked outside the glass doors, then back at Eliza, then over to Alex, who sat with his back to her.    
  
Eliza didn't say anything before she pulled Alex out of his chair, rushing to her bike and fumbling with her keys. She saw the woman dialling a phone number, and they were gone.    
  
They drove for two days, roads and deserts and fields blending together. Eliza traveled through at least four different climates trying to get as far away as she could, Alex staring blankly ahead of them most of the time. She would pay to know what was going through his head, but she didn't ask. She noticed him sketching vague outlines of faces on the corners of book pages when she glanced over. Eliza didn't even know he could draw. The sketches always became portraits of James or Thomas.    
  
"I'm trying to put all of their details down. If we never go back, I don't want to forget them," he explained in a Ruby Tuesday where they stopped for lunch. Eliza nodded, picked at her fries.    
  
"That makes sense."    
  
Eliza pulled into another run down motel in a town not that much bigger than Liberty, but definitely more heavily populated. It would be easy to blend in here, and Eliza knew Alex saw that, as he glanced at her from the other side of the motorcycle and nodded before checking in.    
  
The man at the front desk looked like a kid in his early twenties, he didn't care what they were running from, just as long as they paid for the room. Eliza smiled, gave him the money and took the room key he handed her, watching as he did whatever on a computer with the fake name she gave him.    
  
Eliza spent the first week in town, a place in Nevada called Lovelock, figuring out where everything was, making maps on the back of napkins so it looked like she knew where things were located. Alex didn't leave the motel room, too paranoid that someone would recognize them, that someone would know and they'd have to leave. The further away they got from Liberty, the less likely they were to ever go back.    
  
"I'm sorry," Alex whispered one night. "I know you miss Maria."    
  
Eliza sighed. "It's fine. To be fair, she's one person. You're missing two."   
  
"Still, you love her just as much as I love them." He slid a piece of paper face down across the table before getting up and going to bed. Eliza took it, gasping quietly as she looked at it.    
  
It was another drawing, this time of Maria. It was stunning, and hauntingly accurate for being draw from memory, her eyes holding every ounce of beauty they did in real life.    
  
Eliza kept the drawing on her nightstand next to her, propped up against the phone so she could look at it as she fell asleep.    
  
They'd been there for three weeks. Alex only left the hotel room a total of six times, all to buy things like soap, towels, and food. They kept the do not disturb sign on the door, assuring that they would run out of most things fairly quickly. They were running out of money, which landed Eliza in the back room of a restaurant having the first job interview of her life. Her résumé was entirely fake, and her references were three burner cell phones all of which Alex had on his person at all times in case they called when he was out, which was never.    
  
Her first week on the job, she overhears from a TV that they're currently searching for Alex so that they can get a statement on the affair, after Mr. Washington so lovingly offered his up.    
  
She didn't tell Alex about it.    
  
Air made its way into her lungs for, what seemed like, the first time in a long time as she sat across from Thomas, Madison, and John.    
  
Her ribs ached, bruises forming along her arms and legs, around her neck. Every bone in her body  _ hurt _ , and she only managed to get away after James went to sleep, rolling out from under his arm and sneaking out the window. It hurt to move, it almost killed her to run here, but she couldn't walk. She couldn't slow down for one minute. If he woke up and noticed she was missing, caught up to her on her way to the bar, she knew she would've never seen tomorrow morning.    
  
"Maria," Madison whispered, couldn't figure out what else to say. Maria wiped the tears off her face, wincing at the pain it caused her.    
  
She told them everything. She'd never done that before.    
  
"I'll go get the first aid kit," Thomas told them, getting up and going behind the bar. John moved to sit next to Maria after she nodded and let him, resting her head on his shoulder. The silence was nice, it beat the yelling at home, the yelling she still had to deal with once she went back, if she ever went back.    
  
Thomas came back with the first aid kit, popping it open on the table. Maria watched him, jumped out of her skin when the bar doors slammed open.    
  
"You!" Reynolds screamed, storming into the bar and reaching for Maria. She jumped, kicked her chair from away from her and tried to get as far away as she could.    
  
John stopped Reynolds before he got to her, grabbing a glass bottle and dragging him out. Maria's skin burned, from the fear still settled in her chest, from the shame and embarrassment that came from knowing Madison and Thomas just  _ saw  _ what happened. She laid on the floor for a minute until Madison pulled her up, guiding her back over to the table.    
  
"Thanks, M-" She stopped herself. "Thank you, James."    
  
James looked at her, like he finally understood why she preferred calling him by last name, eyebrows furrowed.    
  
"You can keep calling me Madison, if you want."    
  
Maria grinned. "I think I'm okay, James."    
  
He smiled at her before their moment was interrupted. John came back in, glass bottle he took out broken and covered in  _ something _ , Maria couldn't tell what color it was before he threw it in the garbage. He went back to sitting next to Maria, didn't say a word.    
  
Maria never saw James Reynolds again.    
  
Eliza watched Alex through the public library windows as he typed rapidly on the decades old computer. The librarian, a woman who looked like she was nearing her sixth century working there, watched him with rapt attention, fingers moving so fast they were nothing but a blur.    
  
She saw him looking up Liberty, trying to figure out what town they were in, trying to find addresses or a phone number for  _ anything  _ there and coming up with nothing. He closed all the open windows, waving goodbye to the librarian before he ran out, colliding with Eliza as he did.    
  
"Oh my god, I'm so- Eliza? What are you doing here?" He helped her up and she dusted off her skirt. He wiped tears from his eyes but Eliza saw them anyway.   
  
"I got out of work early today. A girl is working my afternoon and I work her morning so she can go to her sister's wedding. What are you doing?"    
  
Alex shrugged. "I miss them, Eliza. I miss them and I thought that if I just, if I could find a phone number, I know the bar has a phone in the back, then I could call and make sure they're okay, see if they'll even speak to me now that know exactly  _ why  _ I had to leave so quickly. I might never see them again, but I don't want to give up like I've accepted that."   
  
"Oh, Alex." She pulled him into her arms and they stood there, not caring as people passed them and stared. In the back of her head she noticed that neither of them own coats, besides the one Eliza wore when she was on her bike, but it wouldn't be warm enough in the winter, would barely be enough for the fall.    
  
Seasons didn't  _ really _ happen in Liberty. There was summer, and then slightly colder summer when John put up different festive lights and broke out different alcohols. Thomas and James sat on barstools next to each other and spiked their own cups of apple cider, wishing Alex was there with them. Maria felt for them, knew that Halloween was their favorite time of year, listened as they whispered the things they would've done if Alex was there with them. Maria sighs, leaning her back against the bar. Thomas and James look over, slide her a glass of apple cider, smelling so heavily of vodka she almost gags.    
  
She shrugged. "Might as well."   
  
It burned as she drank it, settling like coals in Maria's stomach. She savored it, the pain it gave her, because at least she could control this, at least this would last that long. Maria sighed and her ribs still hurt, but at least she had something to take her mind off of it.    
  
At least she had people to take her mind off of it.    
  
Halloween passed, John in the stupid scarecrow costume he apparently broke out every year, Maria going to the bar and having fun for the first time in ten years. James always got in fights on Halloween, hated the holiday more than anything else, didn't like people dressing up in costumes, pretending to be something they weren't. Maria stayed home, the door tied to the one across the hall so she couldn't get out.    
  
A band of women in a van all came in that night, ranging from early twenties to late fifties, and John broke out the old karaoke machine just because they asked. It was the most fun Maria ever had in Liberty, finally free of what was holding her back for so long.   
  
One of the girls kissed her at midnight, hands on either side of her face, and Maria could only think of Eliza, of her lips and her hands and how she used to hold her face just like that. Maria kissed her again when she broke away, laughing at the cheers from the other women and ignoring the shocked looks from John, James, and Thomas.    
  
She fell asleep alone that night, asking her ceiling where Eliza was now, rolled over and pulled the covers over her shoulders when she received no answer.    
  
Alex was dancing on a table, the Monster Mash blaring through the speakers of the town pub. Someone handed him a lime green boa, she doesn't know who, and Eliza watched as he twirled around and laughed for the first time since they got here. He was drunk off his ass, and Eliza prayed for when they went home later.    
  
"Eliza!" Alex yelled over the music as he jumped down from the table. "I forgot to tell you! I got offered a job the other day!"    
  
"What?" She asked, and Alex plopped into the chair next to her.    
  
"I was looking earlier for jackets, cause you said we needed 'em, and I went into this tailor shop and I started talking to the guy and his spouse and he said that, that I could work there, getting fabric and stuff, and I said I'd do it."    
  
"That's nice, when do you start?"    
  
"Next week."    
  
With that, he kissed her on the cheek and went back to dancing. Judging by the jeering of the other people in the room, his absence was sorely missed, and Eliza rubbed at her temples in exasperation.    
  
Alex seemed to like his job, talked about the people who owned the store and how nice they were, he finally learned the difference between silk, chiffon, and silk-chiffon. Eliza was happy for him, but she knew he wasn't happy for himself. He felt better that he was making money and that Eliza didn't have to pay for everything now, but he wouldn't be truly  _ happy _ until he was back with Thomas and James, and that's something he might never get.    
  
Eliza worried about him to no end.   
  
Maria watched Thomas, James, and John parade out of the kitchen, the makeshift Thanksgiving of greasy diner food and fountain soda doing little to resemble what they had as children, but enough for what they had now.    
  
The watched from the counter as John and Thomas argued about whether or not getting new mosaic lampshades for the lights would be more appealing, Thomas on the yes end of the question. James listened as he got breakfast plates from the counter and set them down next to the wrapped silverware, shaking his head as they fought about something so trivial.   
  
Maria loved them. They were the only family she'd known in a decade, the only people she could trust when she needed them. All four of them were running away from one thing or another or dragged from one lifestyle to this one, but they found home in each other, and that's something she'd always hoped for.    
  
"Maria!" John called, taking a seat across from James. "Come on, the food is going to get cold."    
  
She nodded and joined them, laughed as John and Thomas continued their petty argument, smiled at James across the table. She loved them, and they loved her.    
  
They were her family.    
  
Not even a week passed after Thanksgiving before John broke out the ugly Christmas decorations and stuck them everywhere he could on the bar. A three foot tall animatronic Santa stood outside the door, and Maria prayed everyday that someone would do her a favor and at  _ least _ unplug it so it didn't greet you as you passed. Maria walked home at midnight, and hearing his broken jolly laughter from five feet away when she never expected it was  _ terrifying  _ to experience.    
  
Thomas and James drank eggnog as Maria walked in, raising their glasses in her direction and nodded. Thomas laughed and collapsed on James, their lips meeting in a messy collision. They were so different from when they first tumbled in eight years ago, lost and broken with nothing but each other to hold onto. Now they had John and her, and they knew that where they belonged was right there with them, and she was glad they managed to find a morsel of happiness.    
  
"What do you think he's doing right now?" James asked, rubbing up and down Thomas' back. Thomas sighed, finished his glass and set it on the bar, letting John take it. By now he would tell Thomas to get back to work, but as silence hung in the group they formed, John didn't say a word, just wiped down the bar and put it behind the bar and out of sight.    
  
"Reading, probably," Thomas answered, kissing James' temple. James finished his glass and handed it to John, nodding.    
  
Maria watched as John moved, never pausing for a moment even as nobody came up to him. It was busy the past few days, everyone rushing home for Christmas, trying to get home as soon as possible, but ending up in Liberty instead, asking for directions or just looking for a way to settle down until the next morning.    
  
"Do you ever wish you had people to miss? People to love?" Maria asked him, hopping up on a bar stool. John looked up at her with one quirked eyebrow.    
  
"No. I don't like missing people, I've lost too much in my life to worry about losing someone else."    
  
They stare at each other for a moment, communicating silent memories from ten years ago. Of John the happiest she'd ever seen him, with people she would've forgotten the name of if they weren't so extravagant. Hercules and Lafayette. John, Hercules, and Lafayette, the envy of the town to find a happiness as profound and genuine as theirs was. Maria never knew why they fell apart, just knew one day she found John sobbing in the middle of the road as their car drove away, dust clouds swirling around them as she picked him up from the ground.    
  
"Fair." She blinked and they looked away from each other. Eliza popped into her head again, lying the bed they shared, walking into the bar, sitting at the diner across from Alex and tossing her hair over her shoulder as she talked. Maria's heart ached still. Eliza told her she loved her, and Maria didn't say it back before Eliza ran, and now seven months later the words were still on the tip of her tongue, but Eliza wasn't there to hear them.    
  
"Do you think they'll be back, Maria?" Thomas asked her, leaving James to sit on the empty stool in between them.    
  
"I'm not sure."    
  
"I think they will," John told them. "I think they're gonna fight the odds and at least try to come back."   
  
Maria swiveled to face the front. "If they don't, what do we do?"    
  
James and Thomas didn't say anything, turned to face the same she was, as group of people sang along to the Christmas radio station John had on, arms linked, content to be with one another, not spending their nights getting drunk at the bar their friend owned trying to forget the people they missed. They didn't even know if they were alive or not, just hoped, because hope was all they had to go on.    
  
John didn't have an answer that would help her.    
  
Eliza slams the door closed behind her, shaking the light dusting of snow off of her jacket. She dropped the plastic bag of Denny's food on the table, not much for Christmas dinner, but what she could manage. She hesitated as Alex blew through a brand new phone book, all three burner cell phones in front of him. His finger dragged down names and numbers, eyes scanning the page, words reflected back to him in the lenses of his glasses.    
  
"What are you doing?" She questioned, taking a seat next to him.    
  
"I found out what area Liberty is in, I'm looking for literally  _ any  _ bar around there, I've called most of these already, but I  _ had  _ to have missed one. I found the number for the diner, but they don't have a phone anymore so that was a bust. Why it's in the new edition of the phone book, I have no fucking clue but-"   
  
"Okay, stop talking, keep looking. The less time it takes the sooner you get to eat."   
  
They sat at the table for ten minutes, Alex's finger scraping across pages the only sound in the room, when Alex gasped, punched in the numbers on his flip phone and held the phone to his ear. He screamed when someone answered, standing up and pacing the room.    
  
"John! John, it's me, Alex!" Eliza heard him scream. "Hi! We're in Nevada right now, we're okay, just miss you guys." John said something on the phone and Alex gasped. "Yes! Yes please put them on the phone. I miss them so much."    
  
Alex looked over at Eliza, unpacking Denny's boxes. He snapped at her and, before she could kill him, asked if he wanted to talk to Maria. Eliza shook her head, swallowed, became thoroughly enthralled with the food in front of her instead of with Alex's disappointed eyes staring at her.    
  
"Hey!" he choked, tears in his eyes as Thomas and James got on the phone. He went over to the corner of the room and took his jacket off the radiator. "Yeah, we're okay. We're in Nevada, I don't know when we'll be back."    
  
Eliza flinched as the door slammed behind them. She wiped tears from her eyes, breath shuddering as she kept opening food. For her favorite holiday, it wasn't shaping up to be a great day. With the Denny's and the Alex being upset with her and not wanting to talk to Maria in fear of there being no Maria to talk to.    
  
Alex wasn't back for another half hour, cheeks nose red from the cold, hands raw. His glasses fogged up as he walked in and Eliza didn't want to hear what she knew he was going to say.    
  
" _ What was that _ ? You haven't seen or heard from Maria in seven months, and then, on Christmas, I perform a  _ miracle _ , and you don't even  _ try  _ and talk to her?"    
  
"I couldn't do it, okay? Me and you are not the same, I didn't have the relationship with Maria that you had with Thomas and James. I loved her, and I left her with  _ him _ , I don't even know if she's alive or not. I don't want to know," she snapped, and Alex flinched.   
  
"She is," he whispered, "Reynolds is gone. Nobody would tell me what happened to him, but he's gone."    
  
"How do I know she even still cares about me?" She asked herself aloud. Alex sat across from her, took Eliza's hands in his.    
  
"She wanted to talk to you, but you said you didn't want to, so I told her you were at work." Eliza nodded at him. "She asked where you worked, got all excited when I told her you were a waitress, said you could compare horror stories when we go back."    
  
Eliza laughed, wiped tears from her eyes. "I want to see her again."   
  
"And you will." He kissed her forehead and opened his box of food, pulling plastic utensils out of the bag and digging in. Eliza sighed and changed for bed, flopping down on the bed and crawling under the covers.    
  
"Can you put my food in the fridge for me?" She refused to lift her head from the pillow. She heard shifting of more styrofoam and Alex giving an affirmative noise before she shut her eyes and went to sleep.    
  
Maria jumped as John screamed, phone pressed to his ear.    
  
"Where are you?" He yelled. "Are you okay?"    
  
James peered into the small doorway to the back room, where John was standing. "Who is he talking to?" Maria shrugged.    
  
"That's so good. That's great, oh my god. Do you want to talk to James and Thomas?" John beckoned Thomas and James over and handed them the phone. "It's Alex."   
  
Thomas and James gasped and all but tore John away from the phone stealing the phone and holding it to both of their ears with minor struggling. Maria's heart skipped a beat in her chest, the whole world going out of focus. It was Alex, which meant he was with Eliza, which meant Maria might have a chance to talk to her if she got up the courage to ask.    
  
"Alex!" Thomas greeted, tears already pooling.   
  
"Are you guys alright?" James asked, taking the phone from Thomas. "Can you tell us where you are yet?"    
  
Thomas pushed James away. "We miss you!"    
  
Maria turned away from them, looked at John's smiling face. He poured another glass of eggnog for himself and another for Maria, leaning back against the bar as he sipped from his glass. Maria took her own glass, didn't drink it before setting it back down. She couldn't think of anything else but that phone, but Eliza, but the panic rising up and bubbling in her chest that she might not be able to say anything before they hang up, leaving Maria with perhaps a lifetime of never hearing from her again. She wasn't sure she could handle that.   
  
James caught her eye after repeating the bar's address for the fourth time. "Hey, is Eliza with you?" He nodded along on the phone and then told Thomas what he said.    
  
"She's at work right now," Thomas explained, and Maria nodded. James handed the phone to her anyway, smiling as Alex said hello to her.    
  
"Hey, Alex. How are you guys?"    
  
"We're fine. Eliza misses you. She's probably going to kill me when she gets back, but I'll have her call you as soon as I can, I promise."   
  
"Okay, that's okay. Where does she work?"   
  
"She's a waitress at a place called Seabury's, but the last time I checked it's owned by this guy named George, I don't know. They have really good french fries there."    
  
Maria chuckled and rolled her eyes. "That's nice, when you guys get back we can trade stories about how terrible food service is."   
  
"I'm sure that's not all you'll be trading," Alex muttered, and Maria blushed.    
  
"Hush."   
  
"It's true!" He laughed. "Hey, I have to go, my burner is almost out of minutes. I'll make sure Eliza calls you!"    
  
"Okay! Do you want to say goodbye to Thomas and James first?"   
  
"Oh my god, please."   
  
Maria handed the phone back to them, snorted as they talked over each other, both scrambling to say what they wanted and express how excited they were to see him again before he had to hang up. She was happy for them, tried to pull it together and act like it.    
  
A week later, everyone in the town sat in the bar, watched the countdown on the portable television John bought, cheering as they went down from ten. James and Thomas sat where they usually did, last two bar stools, Thomas half asleep on James' shoulder. He jumped up when the ball dropped, everyone's screeching blaring in his ear drums.   
  
"Happy New Year's, love," James said to Thomas, kissing his nose. Thomas groaned, kissed his temple before pushing himself off the stool and taking James' hand.    
  
"We're too old for this, let's go home."    
  
James snorted and let Thomas pull him to his feet. "You're twenty-five," he muttered, and the door shut behind them.   
  
"They're cute," Maria commented once they were gone, turning back to John, who set his glass down on the bar and walked over to her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.    
  
"Happy New Year's, Maria."   
  
"Happy New Year's, John."    
  
Alex cheered as the ball dropped, tripping over his own feet in their motel room. He was drunk off his ass, arms swaying above his head, bottle of whatever he bought held in one hand. Eliza didn't even look as he handed her one, savored how it tasted like grape soda and didn't ask any questions. She had work tomorrow, and her boss would be all too happy to fire her for being hungover and hating her life, but maybe she didn't care.    
  
"Alex," she whispered, making him stop  _ whatever  _ he was doing in front of her.    
  
"Hmm?"   
  
"I was thinking we could go back soon, to Liberty, I mean. It's been awhile since the scandal broke and since the statement, we haven't seen or heard anything, I think we ca-"   
  
Alex tackled her, sending the grape soda flavored alcohol tumbling onto the mattress and spilling onto the sheets.    
  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you! When would we go?"    
  
Eliza set the now empty bottle on the nightstand. "Next week, maybe? Around your birthday."   
  
"Yes," he dragged out the s and collapsed next to her, out like a light in seconds. Eliza sighed, throwing her half of wet comforters over him and rolling him off the bed. He didn't wake up, snored louder underneath all of the cloth surrounding him. Eliza covered the bed in towels settled, pulling her jacket over her shoulders and trying to sleep.   
  
"Goodnight, Alex."   
  
He sniffed in his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kill me :)
> 
> tumblr: lol-phan-af


	3. And Procurement

"You can go home y'know," Thomas whispered in James' ear, kissing the side of his neck. James looked back but Thomas was already gone, weaving through the tables in the empty bar and collecting empty glasses. He set them all on a tray and carried them into the back room. James followed.   
  
"You know why I'm not."   
  
Thomas sighed, fitting the drain stopper in the sink and turning the sink on. "I know."  
  
"It's stupid, but I can't stop thinking about it, about him. I can't stop thinking about Alex."   
  
"Me either. I can't help but thinking about the trip we planned."  
  
James chuckled. "We'd drive into the city, didn't care if it took all day just so long as he had a birthday he would remember."  
  
"I miss him."   
  
"Me too," James mumbled.   
  
They could hear the familiar revving of a motorcycle getting closer and closer as they stood there in silence, hopeful but doubting that fate would be that kind to them. The front door slammed open, stumbling steps of someone walking further inside. Thomas dropped the glass he was holding back into the water before wiping his hands on his jeans and walking out.   
  
"Alex?" Thomas breathed, and James almost tackled him trying to get out of the back.   
  
He stood there, panting, face flushed, glasses crooked on his face. He wore sweatpants and James' sweatshirt and he looked so beautiful, an oasis in the desert that were the past eight months without him. Tears fell down Thomas' face, and he sniffed as Alex wiped tears out of his own eyes.   
  
"Hey," he choked, and they ran to him, picking him up off the ground as they hugged him.   
  
He smelled like fresh air and hotel bar soap. It was perfect, he was perfect, and James was so happy he was back with them. He laughed as they kissed his neck and face and wherever they could reach, giggling as he set them back down.   
  
"You're back!" Thomas squeaked, kissing his cheeks. Alex giggled, heaven on earth, and grabbed Thomas' face, kissing him for real for the first time in almost a year. James could cry.   
  
"We're back! I missed you both so much, I filled up all of my books with drawings of you, I didn't want to forget your faces. I didn't want to forget you, I didn't want to forget even a _glimpse_ of you." He flailed his hands, ran them through his hair before looking back up at them. "I love you, I don't, I can't even remember if I ever told you that. It's been a while even if I haven't."  
  
James kissed him, noticed how Alex grabbed at him, his shirt, jaw, neck, whatever he could get his hands on. Thomas needed to lock up so they could go home as soon as physically possible. Every second that passed where he stood there watching him was a second wasted.   
  
"We love you too," James told him, and Alex pulled him into his arms.   
  
"I'll be right back," Thomas told them, rushing back to the sink and draining it.   
  
James kissed Alex again. "We missed you."   
  
"I missed you too. I thought you would be mad at me, honestly."   
  
"Why would we be mad at you?" James' eyebrows knit together, and Alex's eyes widened, like he should already know why.  
  
"I had a scandal with a popular-ish political figure, and I never tell you until the day I leave. You have every right to be mad at me, I don't understand how you aren't."   
  
"It happened before you even met us, as far as I'm concerned it doesn't matter anymore."   
  
Alex kissed him again. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
They just stared at each other for a moment before Thomas came back, grabbing both Alex and James' hands and pulling them out of the bar, locking the door behind him. James trailed a few steps behind, still unbelieving that Alex was back here with them, in all his brilliance. His heart ached with the realization of how much he missed him in the time he was gone, pain that he had buried in the past eight months. James loved him, honest to god, and he hadn't felt like this since Thomas.   
  
James met Thomas at a party for the Virginian elite when they were fifteen, in the room that all the children were sent to because they weren't trusted around adults yet. His hair was cut short, fancy suit almost identical to James' but navy blue as opposed to his stark black. He had a shaving nick on his cheek, and James, somewhere in the back of his mind, thought he was cute.  
  
He refused to let it surface.   
  
James knew who he was, it was hard not to know who the Jeffersons were, and for that reason he didn't say anything. He just lost his father that past summer, and James got so worried about saying the wrong thing, he didn't say anything at all. Instead he watched half his siblings run around the room with the others their age, the younger of them at home with the nanny James' parents hired. At that moment, he wished he was with the nanny his parents hired, at least she tried to talk to him once in awhile.   
  
Thomas ended up leaving early with his mother, who ushered him out after throwing a girl about James' age a hello and asking about her own mother, if she was holding up okay.   
  
They coexisted in that kid's room until they were old enough to move to the real party, an elegant ballroom he'd only caught glimpses of when his mother handed his jacket to the coat check girl before he ushering him off. It was more beautiful than he'd ever imagined, and so was Thomas as James noticed him in trying to bribe the bartender for a flute of champagne.   
  
That night was a mess of social anxiety and talking to middle aged people who asked what he wanted to do with his life, claps on the back and botox injected smiles at his answer of _go to law school_ and catching Thomas' staring at him in the corner of his eyes. He didn't care about much else as his heart pounded in his ears, gathering all the courage he could and walking over to Thomas, nerves ignited as he smirked at James the closer he got.   
  
He doesn't remember their initial conversation that night, greetings and small talk covered up in the memory of Thomas' lips on his twenty minutes later in a coat closet, the band playing songs muffled through walls as Thomas made quick work of unbuttoning his shirt. What good that did them, he didn't know, but James made no move to stop him one he moved onto his belt buckle and dropped to his knees.   
  
"Happy birthday, by the way," Thomas said as Alex intertwined their fingers, moving to kiss the crown of his head. Alex grinned.   
  
"You remembered."   
  
James jogged to keep up, grabbing Alex's other hand. "We were scared we were going to miss it. We had that plan, remember?"  
  
"I remember. Can we do that still? Today is Thursday, let's go Saturday, and tomorrow we can spend all day inside catching up on what I've missed for these past eight months."  
  
"What have you missed? We have a population of twenty and three buildings that we use on a regular basis." Alex stopped and pulled Thomas to him, pushing up on his toes and kissing him.   
  
"I've missed _you_."   
  
" _Oh_ ," Thomas mumbled, walking down the sidewalk faster, unlocking their apartment building.   
  
James realized he was in love with Thomas the night he broke into James' bedroom, carrying a bag of soda and a box of snacks along with plastic cups and lube because he was _like that_. He had a rose from James' mother's bush outside stuck in his jacket sleeve, and James took it as a sign.   
  
"Hey," Thomas greeted. James rolled his eyes, turned on the lamp on his bedside table, sitting up. He didn't miss how Thomas looked him up and down as he noticed that James was close to naked under the comforter.   
  
"What the fuck are you doing here? You live an hour away."  
  
Thomas shrugged. "Wanted to see you. You said you were going to sleep and if I wanted to keep talking to you I should either call you later or show up at your house."  
  
"I wasn't _serious_."   
  
"Then you should have worded your sentences better," Thomas argued, and James rolled his eyes. He hopped to the edge of his bed and pulled Thomas to him, pulled him down so he could kiss him. He was so beautiful, and, in all honesty, fucking _phenomenal_ at kissing.   
  
"I am glad you're here, I was kind of cold." James kissed his collarbone as Thomas ran his hands over the goosebumps on his skin.   
  
He dumped out the bag of snacks, gummies and a small container of grapes, apples that he brought from his house, string cheese and everything else under the sun that was inconspicuous enough that James wouldn't be heard eating it. Thomas laid his jacket on the trunk at the foot of James' bed, rose still stuck in the sleeve, and sat across from him on the bed.   
  
It was after they'd finished most of the snacks, and Thomas fell asleep in his arms, that he recognized how deep his emotions ran for him, how much he loved being around him and seeing him and how much James loved _him_ , full stop. He wanted to spend every day with him, unrealistic given that Thomas got accepted to a college in Virginia and James was moving to New Jersey in the fall.   
  
He hoped they survived that.   
  
James woke up the next morning in bed alone, a note from Thomas scrawled on a post-it stuck to his forehead.   
  
_Had to leave before my mom noticed I was missing. I'll call you later tonight after she goes to bed. Left you a gift, hope your mom forgives me!!_   
  
James smiled at the hearts drawn on the paper and looked over to find the rose, thorns plucked out, lying next to him. Thomas loved him, James was sure of it, and now that he could admit it they had a problem.   
  
Thomas didn't care what other people thought about him, he just didn't like to hear them speak their thoughts aloud. If he could be himself and everyone else could shut up, it would be perfect, but everyone had the tendency to run their mouth, especially in their family, where they never learned what was acceptable and what wasn't because they had enough money to pay for their problems to go away. Thomas didn't care about people knowing he was dating James, he just didn't want to hear their stupid fucking comments that they would pull from god knows where.   
  
He told James about it one night, after James followed in Thomas' influence and broke into _his_ house. His bed was infinitely softer than James, and he felt himself sink into the memory foam as he tried to formulate a response.   
  
"Let's just run away, take all the money and the good silverware, get on a bus or something and leave."  
  
Thomas snorted. "Like you know how public transportation works."  
  
"I'd figure it out if it meant I got to see you more."   
  
"I love you," Thomas whispered, leaning over and kissing James' temple.   
  
James rolled over on top of him, laughing as Thomas groaned and pushed up on his chest to no avail. James leaned bodily on him, crushing him further, dropping his head down so he could kiss Thomas, who smiled and tried to push up on his chest again.   
  
"I love you too."   
  
"I wish I could tell anyone else that. You deserve someone who could love you openly and not have you break into their house because their mother would kill them. You don't need someone who has to sneak around with you in restaurants hours away and in the closets of parties that you could probably meet twenty other rich boys far better than me."   
  
James kissed him again. "You're not a bad person for wanting to be accepted, especially by people like your family and the friends you keep. I love you, Thomas, and as far as I'm concerned, you're the only one I want to love."   
  
"How did I get lucky enough to find you?"  
  
"Other way round, love."  
  
"I want to come out." The words were barely above audible as they made their way out of his mouth, even in the silence of Thomas' bedroom. "I don't care if I have to leave."  
  
"Okay," James responded, nodding. "Sleep first, we can make plans later before I leave."   
  
Thomas nodded and cuddled into James' side, eyes wide open as he contemplated what he was about to do. James kissed his forehead and he sighed, eyelids fluttering shut as his breath evened out and he fell asleep in his arms.   
  
The next morning, James woke up to Thomas sitting up next to him, his fingernails digging into James' wrist as he stared at something in front of him.   
  
"What is it?" James asked, looking over to follow his line of vision.   
  
James blocked out that entire day from his memory, recalled Thomas' mother kicking him out after she found them in bed together, and then Thomas coming to his house later, tears streaked down his face as he told him to pack a bag and leave a note because they were getting out of there _tonight_ and it was only a matter of time before someone caught up to them. James nodded but didn't listen, told James to go to the car and give him time, if he wasn't down in an hour leave without him.   
  
His whole life, he never did anything, let his parents tell him what he was supposed to be and what he was supposed to do, and once he stepped out of that box, he was as good as disowned, everyone knew that. So he left before they could kick him out.   
  
James stuffed all of the clothes he could into a duffle bag, sneaking downstairs and opening the safe, taking anything he could before writing a note, chicken scratch barely legible, and running out the front door, setting off the alarm that would no doubt wake up his parents. One last glimpse of his childhood home through the rear window of Thomas' car and they were off, tears streaming down Thomas' face catching the porch lights of neighbors as they turned on to see what was going on at the Madison's.   
  
They came into Liberty by accident, after James read a map wrong and they ended up running out of gas in the middle of the town. It was something real then, nowhere near a city but nothing like the ghost town James walked now. People lived there, worked there, only moved when they had to, mostly when they had children and had to leave so they could have a proper life.   
  
James wondered now, if he would ever leave Liberty with Alex and Thomas, for search of other things, better things, anything. The thought of children and a mortgage and a domestic tone settling over their life popped into his head as they made their way up the stairs, but he pushed it down. It wasn't that far of a stretch to leave Liberty, but James wanted to stay where they were now, in this moment, as Alex pulled him into the apartment, and crashed their lips together.   
  
He watched with careful eyes as Thomas played one card game or another with James Reynolds, a man who knew his way around this game just a little bit more than Thomas did. James watched as Thomas gambled away their money, and he kept watching as it kept happening.   
  
Thomas started sneaking out of their bed at night, not coming back until almost sunrise when James would wake up to leave for his cashier's job at the convenience store, something he hated but had to do. He made it look like he never left, but James couldn't sleep without Thomas, and hadn't caught a wink while he was gone. The amount of coffee he took from work was immense, his boss started to threaten taking money out of his paycheck to compensate for it.   
  
"There's two hundred dollars missing from our money," James said as Thomas made dinner in front of him. James knew two places where it could be, in Reynolds' pocket or in Thomas', and he knew if he didn't bring it up now, he would never see it again.   
  
It wasn't the first time he brought it up, kept mentioning it every time any amount of money went missing unaccounted for, because he already knew before Thomas lied about where it went. This was the biggest amount of money he'd taken out of what they had, and James couldn't stand to ignore it, couldn't let Thomas think he'd gotten away with something like this.  
  
"Really? Do you have any ideas as to where it went?" His shoulders tensed as he asked, voice higher than normal.  
  
"You can't lie to me, Thomas. We've talked about this before, we both know that _I_ know where you're going when you leave every night."  
  
"It's not _every_ -"  
  
"It's every night."   
  
James ignored that memory, of their fight, of Thomas storming out of the apartment with the two hundred dollars in question, of him staring at his empty duffle bag later that night and contemplating packing up and leaving again, this time without Thomas. It didn't seem worth it, to stick around with someone who didn't even _want_ to try, who handed over his money to the power hungry, money grabbing, downright annoying motherfucker that Reynolds was without considering how it affected them.   
  
"Are, are you leaving?" Thomas questioned as he walked into their bedroom, saw James and the duffel bag and put two and two together.  
  
"Honestly, I'm thinking about it."  
  
"What? You, you'd really leave me over this? I, I don't, I-"  
  
"I don't _want_ to leave you, Thomas, but if you're not going to be as dedicated to this, to _us_ , as I am, or if you're going to keep blowing away all of our money like you still have an infinite amount of it, then I don't want to be here for it. I know I'm supposed to do something, to keep quiet and try and pretend like it's not happening, but I'm not that person, I can't just sit here and watch while you ruin the small semblance of life we have."   
  
"I'm _sorry_."  
  
"So am I."   
  
Tears fell down Thomas' cheeks as he stared at the ground. "I don't want you to leave."  
  
"I don't want to leave you."   
  
"I'm sorry about the money, I'm sorry I let it get this bad. I guess I got so caught up in not being rich anymore that I wanted to try and get richer anyway I could. I'm sorry what I let it do to us. I'm sorry. I'll quit, I'll try, if it means you'll stay with me."   
  
"I don't think it's that easy, Thomas."  
  
"I know. I know it won't be, but I love you, I ran away with you, I want to spend of my life by your side. I don't want to spend one day without you, I'm sorry that I let you think I cared about anything more than I care about you."   
  
James pulled Thomas into their bed, not even bothering to change before curling around him. It was the first time in weeks that Thomas didn't leave, laid next to James and only moved to face him. He pressed his lips to James' forehead, apologized again before falling asleep, and the amount of hope he held in his heart that Thomas would stick to his word was enough to keep him up the whole night.   
  
He watched Thomas fight every instinct he had to sneak out at night, saw as his hand twitched as he stared at the card table after Reynolds found new people to scam, noticed as Thomas ignored it, instead intertwining his fingers with James' and dragging him home to sleep. He got a job at the bar, and James explained the situation to him, made sure John kept an eye on him.   
  
"You're thinking too much, love," Thomas whispered, kneeling behind him on the bed. When they got to their room, James didn't know. Alex took his sweatshirt off, then the shirt underneath, and James took a moment to admire him, taking in everything he missed seeing, as Alex came over and sat on his lap.   
  
"Sorry," he mumbled. "I love you both." Thomas leaned over and kissed him then reached over and kissed Alex, who smiled before kissing James.   
  
Thomas unbuttoned his shirt and threw it on the ground by the bed. "We love you too."   
  
James' thoughts of the past drowned in Alex and Thomas, their hands and their lips and the sound of their laughter as they melted into one another.   
  
Eliza couldn't hear anything except the sound of her own panting and her pulse in her ears as she sprinted to the diner faster than she'd ever moved in her life. It was closing, and if she was lucky enough, she could catch Maria before she went home and locked the door to her apartment, ensuring Eliza wouldn't see her again until tomorrow morning.   
  
She couldn't wait that long.  
  
Maria sighed, taking her key ring out of her jacket pocket so she could lock up the diner before she went home, dead on her feet and wishing just to collapse on her bed and pass out. She hated her job but she needed it, needed something to keep her busy, so her mind didn't wander and she didn't spend half the day thinking about what she could be doing if she'd taken _any_ other path in life.   
  
"Maria!" Someone called, and Maria whipped around, cringed as she heard the ripping noise of the key as it jetted out of the lock. Her heart stopped.   
  
Eliza, in all her glory, ran toward her, feet dragging in the dust as she made her way towards her. Her hair was longer now, reaching her shoulder blades, flowing freely in the wind behind her. Maria liked it, wanted to run her hands through it while Eliza kissed her, erased the thought from her head as she got closer, the realization setting in that she was _here_.   
  
"Eliza? You're back?"  
  
She nodded, heaving. "I'm sorry I had to leave in the first place."  
  
"You're back," she repeated, shocked.  
  
"I didn't have a choice." Eliza fell into her arms, Maria barely able to support her on her tired legs, feeling more like toothpicks with how easily they bent.   
  
"I know."  
  
"And I saw him, I _saw_ Reynolds, and I didn't do anything to protect you. I'm so sorry, Maria, I didn't th-"  
  
Maria kissed her, couldn't waste any more time staring at her lips and not doing anything about it. Reynolds was gone, and Maria was free finally after all these years. She could do this, could kiss Eliza with all the love in her still healing heart and not be afraid of anyone who might see her, and she loved her. She loved Eliza, felt it right down to her bones, and spending so long without her felt like dying.   
  
"When you left," Maria breathed, "you told me, you told me you loved me. Did you mean it?"   
  
"Of course," Eliza panted. "Of course I meant it. I still mean it. I love you."  
  
Maria beamed at her. "I love you too. I didn't get to say it before you left."  
  
Eliza kissed her again, hands on her cheeks, pulling her as close as she could get her. Maria missed this, missed every part of Eliza and being with her and kissing her and _loving_ her.   
  
God, she loved her.   
  
She grabbed Eliza's hand and dragged her to her apartment, noticed Alex, James, and Thomas leaving the bar as she unlocked the door to her apartment, but Eliza pulled her into the building before she could say hello.   
  
Maria could hug Alex tomorrow. Now, as Eliza led her up the stairs, nothing else mattered except this moment, and the hours that would follow now that she was home.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! fun fact, laf and hercules left bc john !! wanted to stay in liberty and they Didn't, and then ended up going to nevada and herc started a tailor shop where, almost a decade later, alex gets a job. after alex gets back to liberty he Recounts the experience to everyone and once john hears about hercules and laf, he goes there to be with them and leaves thomas the bar. thomas, james, and alex eventually move out of liberty to Start a Life, a challenge considering neither james or thomas have a college degree, and maria and eliza move with them. after that the town starts to just kind of Wear Down, until nothing is left but memories and Sand 
> 
> !! tumblr: lol-phan-af


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